29 August 2009
♥ overall, not a great first week of school.
Despite my high hopes for this semester, I'm feeling more discouraged than ever. My classes are mostly interesting, but hard. (I know, I know; I should expect that--they're all junior level college classes.) They all involve strict deadlines and lots of reading. I have felt like a socially awkward dork all week, be it at work or in class or at the cycling team barbeque where no one was friendly. And today, to top it all off, I was abandoned on Highway 36 by the cycling team in its entirety, leaving me with essentially no options but to ride the 30 miles by myself. (This is pathetic, but I stopped in Lyons for a good 20-minute "why do these people hate me and why do I always have to be such a loser" cry. Then I manned up and rode home.) I'm about ready to give up, move back in with my parents, and spend the rest of my life working at Sports Authority. I guess you win some and you lose some, right? In any case, I've learned my lesson: Don't ever say things can't possibly get worse, because if my experience this week has been any indication, they can. Things can always manage to get worse.
BUT at least I'm not starving to death in a third world country, armed terrorists from other tribes are not out to kill me or my family, I have a roof over my head, etc. etc. A little perspective.
8/29/2009
24 August 2009
♥ i wish i was twelve.
Things change so quickly. I can hardly keep track of my own life anymore. Here I am, in this beautiful apartment that I can't really afford, paying for rent and groceries and utilities and all those unpleasant grown-up things, and I have to remind myself constantly: You wanted this. It's true. I've waited for this experience, this essential adulthood, my whole life; I spent my high school years dreaming of the day I could leave the parental nest and fly on my own. It's a bad metaphor. I know. But here I am, and suddenly all I want is to drive home, run upstairs, and lay on my mom's bed for a good cry.
So far, I hate being a grownup.
So far, I hate being a grownup.
8/24/2009
05 August 2009
♥ and in an unsatisfying turn of events,
I am quite unhappy with my current roommate situation. Perhaps I am not meant to live happily ever after during my college years?
8/05/2009
