02 May 2006
♥ Oh, Celebrity Gossip, How I Love Thee
A lot of celebrities irritate me. Few have climbed to the ranks of Mariah Carey or, though his fame is more local, Dave Fraser (I've actually mellowed out a bit on that one), but more of them bother me than don't. And it's not just one kind of celebrities. I'm no more a racist than the next guy (quite the opposite, in fact), I don't dislike sports stars more than any other particular group (though I simply can't stand it when they complain about their unreasonably "small" paychecks), and even my opposition to trashiness doesn't keep me from having a tiny inkling of respect for talk show hosts who spend all their time with smelly people.
But if there's one thing I can't stand, can't stand, it's grammatically incorrect "disses," if you will. Consider this recent attack on talk show host Oprah Winfrey by R&B artist 50 Cent:
"I think she caters to older white women. Oprah's audience is my audience's parents. So, I could care less about Oprah or her show."
Whatever. Sure, a lot of old white ladies watch Oprah. I'm not really sure why that's a bad thing, because I bet a lot of other old ladies of various cultures watch her too. I bet if you Googled Oprah, which I didn't because I don't want to see 24682948762987469824 site about how amazing lots of old technologically proficient ladies think she is, you would find that her show is translated into 709752479846987 languages and broadcast in at least as many countries.
While my philosophy is "If it's too loud, I'll pretend I don't hear you telling me how loud it is," his is apparently "If it's too loud, I hate you because you must be older than me."
At least, that's what I'm guessing it is.
Because 50 Cent doesn't make it clear. "I could care less," he says. Oh really? You could? I'm guessing, my toothless and apparently illiterate friend, that what you meant to say is "I couldn't care less," right? Because that would mean that nothing is lower on your list of priorities than sitting down at four o'clock every afternoon when you get home from Thug School or wherever it is you spend your time and spending an hour with Oprah Winfrey.
In addition, "...about her or her show" is also incorrect. If he cares about neither, the correct verbage would be "I couldn't care less about her and her show."
Finally, I would like to point out that 50 Cent, by his very nature, is incapable of grammatical correctness, as "50 Cent" is not a real amount. You could have fifty cents or half of a dollar, or two quarters, or five dimes, and so on down the line. Perhaps Mr. Cent should change his stage name to "Two Bits" or some such equally degrading name.
Because until I see some grammatical correctness, I'm going to be forced to side with Oprah. And I don't dig that.
But if there's one thing I can't stand, can't stand, it's grammatically incorrect "disses," if you will. Consider this recent attack on talk show host Oprah Winfrey by R&B artist 50 Cent:
"I think she caters to older white women. Oprah's audience is my audience's parents. So, I could care less about Oprah or her show."
Whatever. Sure, a lot of old white ladies watch Oprah. I'm not really sure why that's a bad thing, because I bet a lot of other old ladies of various cultures watch her too. I bet if you Googled Oprah, which I didn't because I don't want to see 24682948762987469824 site about how amazing lots of old technologically proficient ladies think she is, you would find that her show is translated into 709752479846987 languages and broadcast in at least as many countries.
While my philosophy is "If it's too loud, I'll pretend I don't hear you telling me how loud it is," his is apparently "If it's too loud, I hate you because you must be older than me."
At least, that's what I'm guessing it is.
Because 50 Cent doesn't make it clear. "I could care less," he says. Oh really? You could? I'm guessing, my toothless and apparently illiterate friend, that what you meant to say is "I couldn't care less," right? Because that would mean that nothing is lower on your list of priorities than sitting down at four o'clock every afternoon when you get home from Thug School or wherever it is you spend your time and spending an hour with Oprah Winfrey.
In addition, "...about her or her show" is also incorrect. If he cares about neither, the correct verbage would be "I couldn't care less about her and her show."
Finally, I would like to point out that 50 Cent, by his very nature, is incapable of grammatical correctness, as "50 Cent" is not a real amount. You could have fifty cents or half of a dollar, or two quarters, or five dimes, and so on down the line. Perhaps Mr. Cent should change his stage name to "Two Bits" or some such equally degrading name.
Because until I see some grammatical correctness, I'm going to be forced to side with Oprah. And I don't dig that.
5/02/2006
