16 June 2006
♥ hate is a strong word
And yet, I have no problem saying that I hate Ann Coulter. I hate her. There is absolutely no way around it. I hate her so much that I would actually find some kind of creepy sadistic pleasure from yanking her eyeballs so far out of their sockets that she actually witnesses her own vicious beating. That's how much I hate her.
It's not because she says horrible things like that she's never seen anyone "enjoying their husbands' deaths" as much as these women who were widowed by terrorists. It's not because she has some kind of irritating pathological aversion to checking her facts. It's not even because she's a complete idiot who has absolutely no idea what she's babbling about and thinks that it's insulting to call someone a liberal. Because as much as I fundamentally disagree with her - I'd even go so far as to say that she's wrong - I value my right to free speech as much as anything else in this world, and I'd die defending mine, Ann Coulter's, or anyone else's.
It's because she actually seems to think, by some stretch of the imagination, that she writes well.
I can almost never stay awake past the ten o'clock news, but the other night I noticed in the paper (underneath an article about Ann Coulter that made me feel positively wrathful) that the guests on Leno that night would be The Queen of Darkness herself and none other than George Carlin. So, obviously, I couldn't resist. I was hoping he'd just go apeshit and kill her.
He didn't. He just kind of sat there, taking it like a gentlemen, while she spewed her hateful poison and lies all over Leno's nice upholsterey.
She started by bringing up some joke he'd told in his monologue the other night - something about Ann Coulter being worried about Dorothy's house dropping on her - and said, in the most positively self-righteous voice imaginable, "The way I see it, I'm Dorothy, and I just dropped my house on the mainstream media!" I wanted to vomit.
The mainstream media?! The problem with the mainstream media is people like Ann Coulter. It's her, and Bill O'Reilly, and Brit Hume, and Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity, and any other neo-con pundit you can think of. Of course, I can't just blame it all on Focus on the Family. (Though I would like to suggest that they focus on their own damn families and keep their large, in Reverend Dobson's case, noses out of everyone else's. Maybe he'll have some standing about what makes a wholesome family in my book when his sexual harassment suit has been settled. Haha, just kidding.) We can't all look at everything from a strictly liberal perspective. Because then, duh, we'd have world peace, and then what excuse would we have to pillage Middle Eastern oil?
Anyway. She kept babbling about how this was her least edited book (clearly) and once she even had the gall to allow Leno to read a particularly offensive passage from her newest shitrag, Godless: The Church of Liberalism, on the basis that she "loves to hear her words." Yeah. Okay. And the thing that really pissed me off - and only a little bit because it was true - was that when Leno asked her if she cared that the only thing she can ever do right is piss people off (not in those exact words), she gets this smug little look on her face and goes, "Well, I think that's debatable, as my book is the #1 bestseller in the country right now." (This only goes to prove the old adage that "There's no such thing as bad publicity." No, wait, that wasn't the one I was thinking of. It was ANN COULTER IS A MORON. )
If I may:
GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sorry. The fact that I actually found myself shrieking at the TV while I watched it made me feel the need to yell at unsuspecting readers on my website.
Anyway, there's not much I can say about Ann Coulter that I haven't already. It's really chic right now to hate her, which I guess I should be glad about.
The only good thing about Ann Coulter is that she reminds me that as dumb as anyone is, we all have the right to say something about it, though if the administration she supports gets their way, it will be 1984 and we won't have that luxury.
We need more people who will stand up to George Bush's ugly little face and question his motives. We need fewer followers and more leaders. We need more Helen Thomases in this world. We need fewer Ann Coulters.
It's not because she says horrible things like that she's never seen anyone "enjoying their husbands' deaths" as much as these women who were widowed by terrorists. It's not because she has some kind of irritating pathological aversion to checking her facts. It's not even because she's a complete idiot who has absolutely no idea what she's babbling about and thinks that it's insulting to call someone a liberal. Because as much as I fundamentally disagree with her - I'd even go so far as to say that she's wrong - I value my right to free speech as much as anything else in this world, and I'd die defending mine, Ann Coulter's, or anyone else's.
It's because she actually seems to think, by some stretch of the imagination, that she writes well.
I can almost never stay awake past the ten o'clock news, but the other night I noticed in the paper (underneath an article about Ann Coulter that made me feel positively wrathful) that the guests on Leno that night would be The Queen of Darkness herself and none other than George Carlin. So, obviously, I couldn't resist. I was hoping he'd just go apeshit and kill her.
He didn't. He just kind of sat there, taking it like a gentlemen, while she spewed her hateful poison and lies all over Leno's nice upholsterey.
She started by bringing up some joke he'd told in his monologue the other night - something about Ann Coulter being worried about Dorothy's house dropping on her - and said, in the most positively self-righteous voice imaginable, "The way I see it, I'm Dorothy, and I just dropped my house on the mainstream media!" I wanted to vomit.
The mainstream media?! The problem with the mainstream media is people like Ann Coulter. It's her, and Bill O'Reilly, and Brit Hume, and Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity, and any other neo-con pundit you can think of. Of course, I can't just blame it all on Focus on the Family. (Though I would like to suggest that they focus on their own damn families and keep their large, in Reverend Dobson's case, noses out of everyone else's. Maybe he'll have some standing about what makes a wholesome family in my book when his sexual harassment suit has been settled. Haha, just kidding.) We can't all look at everything from a strictly liberal perspective. Because then, duh, we'd have world peace, and then what excuse would we have to pillage Middle Eastern oil?
Anyway. She kept babbling about how this was her least edited book (clearly) and once she even had the gall to allow Leno to read a particularly offensive passage from her newest shitrag, Godless: The Church of Liberalism, on the basis that she "loves to hear her words." Yeah. Okay. And the thing that really pissed me off - and only a little bit because it was true - was that when Leno asked her if she cared that the only thing she can ever do right is piss people off (not in those exact words), she gets this smug little look on her face and goes, "Well, I think that's debatable, as my book is the #1 bestseller in the country right now." (This only goes to prove the old adage that "There's no such thing as bad publicity." No, wait, that wasn't the one I was thinking of. It was ANN COULTER IS A MORON. )
If I may:
GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sorry. The fact that I actually found myself shrieking at the TV while I watched it made me feel the need to yell at unsuspecting readers on my website.
Anyway, there's not much I can say about Ann Coulter that I haven't already. It's really chic right now to hate her, which I guess I should be glad about.
The only good thing about Ann Coulter is that she reminds me that as dumb as anyone is, we all have the right to say something about it, though if the administration she supports gets their way, it will be 1984 and we won't have that luxury.
We need more people who will stand up to George Bush's ugly little face and question his motives. We need fewer followers and more leaders. We need more Helen Thomases in this world. We need fewer Ann Coulters.
6/16/2006
