05 August 2006
♥ bumper stickers, revisited
Somewhere, in a little cabin in the mountains, a short little bald man with cokebottle glasses and a goatee sits at his desk every night thinking of bumper stickers just to infuriate me. Sometimes they just say things like "Bush/Cheney '04." When he's feeling creative, he does things like put the little restroom people together - one male and one female, of course - and indicates that this is what marriage should be. Sometimes, when he's really on a roll, he works a little harder and comes up with the exceptionally clever "If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?"
I try to ignore his work. When I see a bumper sticker that seems to merit honking and / or obscene gestures, I take a deep breath and remind myself that, although anyone with a Bush/Cheney sticker on their car is obviously opposed to it, everyone has a right to free speech.
But tonight I saw one that I simply couldn't stand. (So much so, in fact, that I came home, peeled off my little Petsmart uniform, and immediately started blogging. Because obviously that's going to make a difference.)
It said:
I try to ignore his work. When I see a bumper sticker that seems to merit honking and / or obscene gestures, I take a deep breath and remind myself that, although anyone with a Bush/Cheney sticker on their car is obviously opposed to it, everyone has a right to free speech.
But tonight I saw one that I simply couldn't stand. (So much so, in fact, that I came home, peeled off my little Petsmart uniform, and immediately started blogging. Because obviously that's going to make a difference.)
It said:
If you don't stand behind our troops,
feel free to stand in front of them.
feel free to stand in front of them.
Where do I even begin? I think some bullets are appropriate here.
- No one is "against" the troops. Except, perhaps, our thief-in-cheif, who continually puts them in harm's way. Our government has repeatedly failed to provide our soldiers with armor that will actually protect them, and (more to the point), why have they been sent overseas, particularly to Iraq, in the first place? Perhaps it's because Bush was becoming bored with our seach for the ever-elusive Osama. His name certainly isn't popping up all over like it used to, but we're onto bigger and better criminals now. Maybe it's because we had to save the world from all those scary WMD. Funny, though, they never did materialize, did they? That's because they never really were the reason for an invasion. Daddy's little war criminal wasn't having much luck drilling in the pristine wilderness of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, so he thought he'd a take a swipe at the next most likely candidate, the Middle East. This brings me to my next point.
<>No blood for oil. Junior's in it for the oil. With gas at three dollars a gallon and people starting to catch on that oil companies are turning in some of the biggest profits in world history, he needs to find a new source for this non-renewable resource. (Note: fossil fuels are not actually non-renewable, they just take millions of years to create. Then again, they way things are headed, no one will be around to use such energy by the time it regenerates, because the polar ice caps will have melted and anyone who survived the Apocalypse will have to wear SPF 24087624968734987 to avoid getting fried, as the ozone will have been depleted.) The point of this point is this: the offending car was a HUMMER. I'm not even kidding you. I think the situation speaks for itself. How incredibly ironic, right?<>
And, finally...
- Who are these people?! Of all the problems I have with this administration, the one that really gets me is this new trend they've created, where anyone who disagrees with a decision or believes in civil liberties is labeled as "unpatriotic." I'm tired of being "unpatriotic" because I don't want my phone calls tapped or my bank accounts watched or my Googlings kept track of.
8/05/2006
