13 October 2006
♥ *sigh* drama much?
What is it about dependence that is so wonderful and so terrifying at the same time?
There are a lot of couples in the world. They're everywhere. Taking romantic walks in the moonlight, in my psychology class, lying in the grass in senior courtyard. But when high school ends and real life begins, what happens to them?
That's what got me thinking about dependence--all the couples. I know I'm forever the pessimist, insiting that certain pairings should break up immediately, and after the homecoming festivities have died down, a fair percentage of them usually meet their demise. But there are a few that seem to have withstood the tests of time, and I find myself wondering if it's actually possible to find "the one" at such a young age.
If we examine the common high school couple, we know that they'll date for awhile and one will break up with the other in a jealous rage, causing them to forever hate one another and spread nasty rumors about things that no one but the two of them should know. But sometimes, you come across the not-so-average couple, whose relationship really meant something. Can you really expect two people who have been that close to just let go?
That's what I hate about high school: there's so much pressure. There's pressure to be thin and beautiful and smart, pressure to have the same relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend as everyone else, pressure to be in 17 clubs and play 9 varsity sports so you can make it into Yale. But what are the things you're really going to remember? In 15 years, the beautiful girls aren't going to be so thin and beautiful anymore, they're going to be just like every other 33-year-old you know. You're not going to learn how to interact with people by watching all the other couples; you're going to remember how your relationships were. And no one worth talking to continues to wear their letter jacket after graduation.
It's hard to make a point without naming names, but most of my (three) readers will know who I'm talking about just the same. Here's my point: I think it's ridiculous to just come right out and say "We ARE getting married after we graduate, I AM going to follow you to college, my parents WILL buy us a house and babysit our kids, yadda yadda yadda." Because how do you even know?
Or maybe it's just me. In a way, I hate the idea of dependence, but I think that's because I'm around so many couples like the one mentioned above, the kind whose definition of dependence includes isolating oneself from friends and making your entire life about your boyfriend. It's a little frightening to me that someone's life would revolve around me, or that I would be the only thing keeping someone going. But in the same breath, I can't help but admit that I love it; I love the idea that someone's day is made because I called or that all my nerdy little surprises might actually cheer someone up.
Maybe that's my problem: I don't know what I want. I know a few things that I want, a few things I'm willing to stick it out for, a few people for whose affections I will make almost any sacrifice. But when it comes down to it, I don't know what my favorite cereal is any better than I do what college I belong at, and that's saying something.
What I do know, though, is that right now it doesn't matter what the future holds. I've screwed up too much lately to say that I'm blissfully happy, but at least now I have the support of my friends and family, and I'm getting there. It's going to get better. It doesn't matter where I'm going to be in five or ten years--I know I'm going to be somewhere, I know I'm going to make the right choice, and what I get on this bio test doesn't change that at all.
And I hope this doesn't scare you, but what's really keeping me going is that I have you.
There are a lot of couples in the world. They're everywhere. Taking romantic walks in the moonlight, in my psychology class, lying in the grass in senior courtyard. But when high school ends and real life begins, what happens to them?
That's what got me thinking about dependence--all the couples. I know I'm forever the pessimist, insiting that certain pairings should break up immediately, and after the homecoming festivities have died down, a fair percentage of them usually meet their demise. But there are a few that seem to have withstood the tests of time, and I find myself wondering if it's actually possible to find "the one" at such a young age.
If we examine the common high school couple, we know that they'll date for awhile and one will break up with the other in a jealous rage, causing them to forever hate one another and spread nasty rumors about things that no one but the two of them should know. But sometimes, you come across the not-so-average couple, whose relationship really meant something. Can you really expect two people who have been that close to just let go?
That's what I hate about high school: there's so much pressure. There's pressure to be thin and beautiful and smart, pressure to have the same relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend as everyone else, pressure to be in 17 clubs and play 9 varsity sports so you can make it into Yale. But what are the things you're really going to remember? In 15 years, the beautiful girls aren't going to be so thin and beautiful anymore, they're going to be just like every other 33-year-old you know. You're not going to learn how to interact with people by watching all the other couples; you're going to remember how your relationships were. And no one worth talking to continues to wear their letter jacket after graduation.
It's hard to make a point without naming names, but most of my (three) readers will know who I'm talking about just the same. Here's my point: I think it's ridiculous to just come right out and say "We ARE getting married after we graduate, I AM going to follow you to college, my parents WILL buy us a house and babysit our kids, yadda yadda yadda." Because how do you even know?
Or maybe it's just me. In a way, I hate the idea of dependence, but I think that's because I'm around so many couples like the one mentioned above, the kind whose definition of dependence includes isolating oneself from friends and making your entire life about your boyfriend. It's a little frightening to me that someone's life would revolve around me, or that I would be the only thing keeping someone going. But in the same breath, I can't help but admit that I love it; I love the idea that someone's day is made because I called or that all my nerdy little surprises might actually cheer someone up.
Maybe that's my problem: I don't know what I want. I know a few things that I want, a few things I'm willing to stick it out for, a few people for whose affections I will make almost any sacrifice. But when it comes down to it, I don't know what my favorite cereal is any better than I do what college I belong at, and that's saying something.
What I do know, though, is that right now it doesn't matter what the future holds. I've screwed up too much lately to say that I'm blissfully happy, but at least now I have the support of my friends and family, and I'm getting there. It's going to get better. It doesn't matter where I'm going to be in five or ten years--I know I'm going to be somewhere, I know I'm going to make the right choice, and what I get on this bio test doesn't change that at all.
And I hope this doesn't scare you, but what's really keeping me going is that I have you.
10/13/2006
