24 January 2007
♥ feigning a fifteen.
I think this fifteen deserves a disclaimer. First of all, it's important to note that I simultaneously love and hate the fifteen. It is petty and childish, but it feels good. The fifteen is everything I want to say and am not sure how to tell you. I guess these fifteen are probably the most pivotal I've posted, and I say that with the utmost regret. Maybe I'm just in an emo sort of mood today, or maybe I'm in a pivotal time of my life. I can't tell you--no, not even you--who they are right now, because I'm not even sure if I believe them myself. There are a few exceptions, but several of these apply to multiple people, and more still apply to the same person more than once. Ready, go.
1. Now I understand why you did it. Sometimes we need a little detox.
2. I'm already jealous of you.
3. I don't want it to end that way, but I think it's going to. For your sake (and even more for someone else's), I really hope it doesn't.
4. But don't forget: you loved her once.
5. You're being selfish.
6. If it came down to it, I know what you would choose.
7. I'm afraid you're going to forget.
8. Well, here we are. It's time for you to grow up.
9. You're wasting away without him, aren't you? You can hardly go two days. I'm not sure if I think you're pathetic or if I admire you.
10. I want to get to know you, but I'm afraid to go down that road again. I know I will end up somewhere I don't want to be, and I don't know what choice I will make when I get there.
11. I think you're wrong about this, but in admitting that, I feel like I've betrayed you. Is it okay to disagree with you?
12. It's okay, you know. You gave it a shot. There are plenty more fish in the sea. And don't forget, I love you no matter what.
13. I started out with nothing but the utmost admiration and respect for you, but now you're making me wonder if this is worth it.
14. I'm not sure if I think you're doing the right thing.
15. Was it always you?
I hope you don't think I'm a morose intellectual. I hope you don't fall in love too fast. I hope you don't let this get to you. I hope you don't think I'm a terrible friend. I hope you need me like I need you. I hope I know more about you than you think I do. I hope I get a chance to say everything I've been thinking right to your face. I hope I can clean up my act.
I hope you stick with me, because now is when I need you the most.
That's one hope for every year I've known you.
1. Now I understand why you did it. Sometimes we need a little detox.
2. I'm already jealous of you.
3. I don't want it to end that way, but I think it's going to. For your sake (and even more for someone else's), I really hope it doesn't.
4. But don't forget: you loved her once.
5. You're being selfish.
6. If it came down to it, I know what you would choose.
7. I'm afraid you're going to forget.
8. Well, here we are. It's time for you to grow up.
9. You're wasting away without him, aren't you? You can hardly go two days. I'm not sure if I think you're pathetic or if I admire you.
10. I want to get to know you, but I'm afraid to go down that road again. I know I will end up somewhere I don't want to be, and I don't know what choice I will make when I get there.
11. I think you're wrong about this, but in admitting that, I feel like I've betrayed you. Is it okay to disagree with you?
12. It's okay, you know. You gave it a shot. There are plenty more fish in the sea. And don't forget, I love you no matter what.
13. I started out with nothing but the utmost admiration and respect for you, but now you're making me wonder if this is worth it.
14. I'm not sure if I think you're doing the right thing.
15. Was it always you?
I hope you don't think I'm a morose intellectual. I hope you don't fall in love too fast. I hope you don't let this get to you. I hope you don't think I'm a terrible friend. I hope you need me like I need you. I hope I know more about you than you think I do. I hope I get a chance to say everything I've been thinking right to your face. I hope I can clean up my act.
I hope you stick with me, because now is when I need you the most.
That's one hope for every year I've known you.
1/24/2007
