11 June 2007
♥ she's baa-ack!
Eleven days feels like a million years, as it turns out. Some of it was great, some of it wasn't so great. I never want to see another cathedral as long as I live, but there is something sort of magical about being in the presence of all those geniuses... Shakespeare, Darwin, Wordsworth, and the like. [I stood on Darwin's grave!]
Alright, so here are a few things I learned in Europe:
1. The English believe that street signs are overrated. They don't use them. And don't ask a gas station attendant for directions because none of them know.
2. Handing the cashier a handful of coins and looking helplessly at them because you can't tell the change apart makes them think you are retarded.
3. Wearing flip-flops is a dead giveaway. You might as well wear a big ugly t-shirt with an American flag and march around yelling I AM AMERICAN.
4. "Is Scotland a country?" is actually a surprisingly legitimate question.
5. Scottish boys really do love American girls! Especially if their names are Murray and James. Oh man. I love Murray and James.
6. Historians at the British Museum do not appreciate it when patrons of said museum point out that the Greek statues are rather poorly endowed.
7. All cathedrals look the same after about #2. In fact, I'm fairly certain that a few times, we got on the bus, drove around the block, parked at a different entrance, and were told we were at a different cathedral when it was actually the same one.
8. Brits get way better wedding presents than we do. I want a freaking secret garden.
9. As difficult as it is, refrain from attempting a mock-British accent. They will look at you like you're a moron, probably because you are.
10. For some reason, the local police in Oxford find it really bizarre when you and your friends stop to take photos in a groovy red phone booth. Especially if there are several girls in there at once.
11. Any missing adapters were actually stolen by other participants on the trip.
12. Imaginary boys / cars are actually a really big problem in Stratford. Seriously, they show up at random bed-and-breakfasts and girls sneak out with them all the time. You don't even realize.
13. Deborah Anne Jump was an imposter!
14. "Fish and chips" is not like it is in America. They seriously fry an entire fish and hand it to you. Like... with skin. And a tail. And eyes.
15. Haggis is actually surprisingly delicious. And despite its unappetizing name, the "boxty" is also quite tasty.
16. Yes, they will let you buy porn at any age in international waters! And also let you into sex shops in Dublin, where they allow you to purchase... items of pleasure. I, of course, have no firsthand knowledge of this experience.
17. Apparently no one is actually employed at "Penney's" department store in Dublin, or if they are, it's a freaking free-for-all. Like wow.
18. The sketchy part of Dublin is about a thousand times more interesting than the shopping center. Also, if you accidentally wander into a 21+ club there, they don't kick you out. It seriously was an accident.
19. "You know, just because it's not America doesn't mean you can just... go streaking. I mean, they're not not afraid of boobs in Scotland." Well said.
20. Going to Europe at 17 and a half is pretty much the dumbest thing ever. What was I thinking?! Then again, you know what this means: Lexi and I are already planning a trip to Amsterdam next summer.
You know what's legal in Amsterdam.
Anyway, as much fun as I had, I'm glad to be home. I missed my family, and my friends, and the like. I spent a lot of time thinking on the tour bus this trip, and I've definitely come to a couple of conclusions that I think will make things a lot easier for me.
Tomorrow morning is going to be tough, but I can handle it. I've been through worse before. In any case, wish me luck.
Alright, so here are a few things I learned in Europe:
1. The English believe that street signs are overrated. They don't use them. And don't ask a gas station attendant for directions because none of them know.
2. Handing the cashier a handful of coins and looking helplessly at them because you can't tell the change apart makes them think you are retarded.
3. Wearing flip-flops is a dead giveaway. You might as well wear a big ugly t-shirt with an American flag and march around yelling I AM AMERICAN.
4. "Is Scotland a country?" is actually a surprisingly legitimate question.
5. Scottish boys really do love American girls! Especially if their names are Murray and James. Oh man. I love Murray and James.
6. Historians at the British Museum do not appreciate it when patrons of said museum point out that the Greek statues are rather poorly endowed.
7. All cathedrals look the same after about #2. In fact, I'm fairly certain that a few times, we got on the bus, drove around the block, parked at a different entrance, and were told we were at a different cathedral when it was actually the same one.
8. Brits get way better wedding presents than we do. I want a freaking secret garden.
9. As difficult as it is, refrain from attempting a mock-British accent. They will look at you like you're a moron, probably because you are.
10. For some reason, the local police in Oxford find it really bizarre when you and your friends stop to take photos in a groovy red phone booth. Especially if there are several girls in there at once.
11. Any missing adapters were actually stolen by other participants on the trip.
12. Imaginary boys / cars are actually a really big problem in Stratford. Seriously, they show up at random bed-and-breakfasts and girls sneak out with them all the time. You don't even realize.
13. Deborah Anne Jump was an imposter!
14. "Fish and chips" is not like it is in America. They seriously fry an entire fish and hand it to you. Like... with skin. And a tail. And eyes.
15. Haggis is actually surprisingly delicious. And despite its unappetizing name, the "boxty" is also quite tasty.
16. Yes, they will let you buy porn at any age in international waters! And also let you into sex shops in Dublin, where they allow you to purchase... items of pleasure. I, of course, have no firsthand knowledge of this experience.
17. Apparently no one is actually employed at "Penney's" department store in Dublin, or if they are, it's a freaking free-for-all. Like wow.
18. The sketchy part of Dublin is about a thousand times more interesting than the shopping center. Also, if you accidentally wander into a 21+ club there, they don't kick you out. It seriously was an accident.
19. "You know, just because it's not America doesn't mean you can just... go streaking. I mean, they're not not afraid of boobs in Scotland." Well said.
20. Going to Europe at 17 and a half is pretty much the dumbest thing ever. What was I thinking?! Then again, you know what this means: Lexi and I are already planning a trip to Amsterdam next summer.
You know what's legal in Amsterdam.
Anyway, as much fun as I had, I'm glad to be home. I missed my family, and my friends, and the like. I spent a lot of time thinking on the tour bus this trip, and I've definitely come to a couple of conclusions that I think will make things a lot easier for me.
Tomorrow morning is going to be tough, but I can handle it. I've been through worse before. In any case, wish me luck.
6/11/2007
