05 July 2007
♥ independence day: a multi-verse haiku
Oh, America!
It is your birthday today
You're getting up there
In keeping with our
Role of world's fattest country
The grocery store
Is to be filled with
Loads of last-minute shoppers
Who need lots of food
Work at ten-fifteen
Oh, how I despise this shift
I'm not off til six
Everyone shops
On a day when they shouldn't
Jeez, go barbeque!
It's busy all day
Because they forgot the buns
Or something like that
Mean manager, Vance,
Is insisting that I'm late
(Um, I'm so not late)
I hope I'm not fired
Because I sure like paychecks
To put in the bank
Anyway, Debra
(The bossy clerk who loves me)
Wore stupid earrings
They said "U.S.A.!"
And were red, white, and blue (duh)
Except they were hearts
Which is really dumb
Because the flag has no hearts
It has stars, stupid
In fact, customers
Throughout the day wore clothing
That was quite ugly
I was unimpressed
By the fashion "prowess" of
Our many patrons
When I finally
Vacated the madhouse, though,
I realized something:
Even if it sucks
To bag groceries for those
Who don't really care
About what the fourth
Really represents for them,
At least there's fireworks
And I guess I should
Be happy that I don't have
To wear a burka
Because that would suck
Even more than pushing carts
Yay, America!
It is your birthday today
You're getting up there
In keeping with our
Role of world's fattest country
The grocery store
Is to be filled with
Loads of last-minute shoppers
Who need lots of food
Work at ten-fifteen
Oh, how I despise this shift
I'm not off til six
Everyone shops
On a day when they shouldn't
Jeez, go barbeque!
It's busy all day
Because they forgot the buns
Or something like that
Mean manager, Vance,
Is insisting that I'm late
(Um, I'm so not late)
I hope I'm not fired
Because I sure like paychecks
To put in the bank
Anyway, Debra
(The bossy clerk who loves me)
Wore stupid earrings
They said "U.S.A.!"
And were red, white, and blue (duh)
Except they were hearts
Which is really dumb
Because the flag has no hearts
It has stars, stupid
In fact, customers
Throughout the day wore clothing
That was quite ugly
I was unimpressed
By the fashion "prowess" of
Our many patrons
When I finally
Vacated the madhouse, though,
I realized something:
Even if it sucks
To bag groceries for those
Who don't really care
About what the fourth
Really represents for them,
At least there's fireworks
And I guess I should
Be happy that I don't have
To wear a burka
Because that would suck
Even more than pushing carts
Yay, America!
7/05/2007
