01 August 2007
♥ today, as few of you probably know, is a very important day.
Happy Swiss Independence Day! I'll have you know that being Swiss is actually quite exciting, despite what you may think. And I should know, being Swiss and all. Observe.
1. We make delicious chocolate. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac. Why do you think we never march off to war with the rest of Europe?
2. We also make delicious cheese. Who doesn't love cheese? It may not be libido-inducing, but it sure does go well with crackers.
3. Speaking of cheese, we pretty much invented fondue. God, I love fondue. And do you know what happens when you drop something in the fondue pot? You have to kiss someone else at the table, that's what.
4. All this cheese fuels our successful economy, which is perhaps why Zurich is the banking capital of the world. Especially if you are being paid under the table.
5. Can you say Heidi?
6. We have our own Alps, and take it from me, they're pretty much beautiful. I don't even like scenery, but this is a view you really shouldn't pass up.
7. There is a ride named after one of our mountains at Disneyland. Given, there does not appear to have been any sort of abominable snowman at the actual Matterhorn, but I guess that's what happens when mountains go to Hollywood.
8. Speaking of mountains, we have some amazing skiing.
9. Universal health care! Nice.
10. Adorable St. Bernards with the little kegs around their necks. You can't beat that.
It's been a couple years since anyone called me "Swiss Miss with Mini Marshmallows," and since then a couple of things have happened: 1) I realized that this was not just a reference to a delicious brand of hot chocolate and 2) my cup size increased considerably.
That's beside the point. The real point here is that being Swiss is actually really cool. Okay, so I'm not Greek or Italian or German or any of those other cool nationalities that everyone is. And when I head back to the motherland, I will not come home with a nice tan. And no, we don't really have our own language, it's basically a dialect of German with a little French and Italian here and there.
But how many people do you know who can say they're pretty much completely Swiss? That's right, kids, I'm living the dream here. I'm eating chocolate and petting dairy cows and keeping my money in the bank, and that's more connection to my roots than I think most of you can claim.
1. We make delicious chocolate. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac. Why do you think we never march off to war with the rest of Europe?
2. We also make delicious cheese. Who doesn't love cheese? It may not be libido-inducing, but it sure does go well with crackers.
3. Speaking of cheese, we pretty much invented fondue. God, I love fondue. And do you know what happens when you drop something in the fondue pot? You have to kiss someone else at the table, that's what.
4. All this cheese fuels our successful economy, which is perhaps why Zurich is the banking capital of the world. Especially if you are being paid under the table.
5. Can you say Heidi?
6. We have our own Alps, and take it from me, they're pretty much beautiful. I don't even like scenery, but this is a view you really shouldn't pass up.
7. There is a ride named after one of our mountains at Disneyland. Given, there does not appear to have been any sort of abominable snowman at the actual Matterhorn, but I guess that's what happens when mountains go to Hollywood.
8. Speaking of mountains, we have some amazing skiing.
9. Universal health care! Nice.
10. Adorable St. Bernards with the little kegs around their necks. You can't beat that.
It's been a couple years since anyone called me "Swiss Miss with Mini Marshmallows," and since then a couple of things have happened: 1) I realized that this was not just a reference to a delicious brand of hot chocolate and 2) my cup size increased considerably.
That's beside the point. The real point here is that being Swiss is actually really cool. Okay, so I'm not Greek or Italian or German or any of those other cool nationalities that everyone is. And when I head back to the motherland, I will not come home with a nice tan. And no, we don't really have our own language, it's basically a dialect of German with a little French and Italian here and there.
But how many people do you know who can say they're pretty much completely Swiss? That's right, kids, I'm living the dream here. I'm eating chocolate and petting dairy cows and keeping my money in the bank, and that's more connection to my roots than I think most of you can claim.
8/01/2007
