17 December 2007
♥ febreeze is NOT work. it's just not.
I like to watch trashy television as I do my homework. It's not what you think; I don't just need a little distraction. More importantly, I find that watching reality TV encourages me to finish my homework because if I graduate high school, I will not ever end up vying for the affections of Bret Michaels or Flava Flav. It's what we call tough love.
Tonight, after the conclusion of I Love New York 2, I was feeling a bit discouraged--can you believe she picked stupid Tailor Made over sexy, sexy Buddha?! Then again, I felt reassured at the idea that Buddha was back on the market. As I was struggling with my conflicted feelings for Buddha, however, I realized a disturbing trend in home-scent marketing.
A new Febreeze commercial depicts a homely sort of man in a lazy boy. He's obviously been there awhile, because there is a crumbling gingerbread house in his lap, and the rest of the house looks as though it could use some serious redecoration. But what's this? His wife, who has apparently been Christmas shopping, arrives home and can't believe her lazy ass of a husband hasn't done a damn thing to decorate the house! Not to fear, he lights a Febreeze holiday candle, and the old nag is immediately diverted from her relentless quest for holiday cheer.
Another Febreeze commercial begins with a strikingly similar situation, except this time they're starting 'em younger: a teenage boy, who looks eerily like my younger cousin, is playing Call of Duty as his haggard parents set up for some sort of holiday hullaballoo. The boy's mother asks him to puh-lease help his father decorate fro the party, and Dopey McGunnerbutt sprays--what's this?--some holiday-themed Febreeze! His nagging mother instantly lays off.
What really disturbs me about these commercials is that they're encouraging an already lazy demographic--men--to continue to not do anything. Febreeze holiday candles and nasty spray represent what is quite possibly the first time a bunch of men have come together to form a viable conspiracy. Ironically, though not unexpectedly, it's in the name of laziness.
Everyone knows that certain jobs are, plain and simply, boy jobs: anything to do with fires or ladders, including putting up Christmas lights, and also heavy lifting, such as of boxes full of decorations. But don't get too comfy, boys; we're onto you. Whipping out the Febreeze candles, which smell like shit, is not going to cut it.
Tonight, after the conclusion of I Love New York 2, I was feeling a bit discouraged--can you believe she picked stupid Tailor Made over sexy, sexy Buddha?! Then again, I felt reassured at the idea that Buddha was back on the market. As I was struggling with my conflicted feelings for Buddha, however, I realized a disturbing trend in home-scent marketing.
A new Febreeze commercial depicts a homely sort of man in a lazy boy. He's obviously been there awhile, because there is a crumbling gingerbread house in his lap, and the rest of the house looks as though it could use some serious redecoration. But what's this? His wife, who has apparently been Christmas shopping, arrives home and can't believe her lazy ass of a husband hasn't done a damn thing to decorate the house! Not to fear, he lights a Febreeze holiday candle, and the old nag is immediately diverted from her relentless quest for holiday cheer.
Another Febreeze commercial begins with a strikingly similar situation, except this time they're starting 'em younger: a teenage boy, who looks eerily like my younger cousin, is playing Call of Duty as his haggard parents set up for some sort of holiday hullaballoo. The boy's mother asks him to puh-lease help his father decorate fro the party, and Dopey McGunnerbutt sprays--what's this?--some holiday-themed Febreeze! His nagging mother instantly lays off.
What really disturbs me about these commercials is that they're encouraging an already lazy demographic--men--to continue to not do anything. Febreeze holiday candles and nasty spray represent what is quite possibly the first time a bunch of men have come together to form a viable conspiracy. Ironically, though not unexpectedly, it's in the name of laziness.
Everyone knows that certain jobs are, plain and simply, boy jobs: anything to do with fires or ladders, including putting up Christmas lights, and also heavy lifting, such as of boxes full of decorations. But don't get too comfy, boys; we're onto you. Whipping out the Febreeze candles, which smell like shit, is not going to cut it.
12/17/2007
