30 October 2008
♥ here are some charming things about my roommate:
--No less than 7 Keystone Lights currently reside in my fridge. Won't that be fun to explain to the RA should she visit?!
--Currently passed (and snoring) out in the clothes she went out in last night.
--Head count (and I mean that in more than one way) is up to seven as of last night. May I be blunt? That is a lot of boys to fuck in less than two months.
--Used condom found in MY trash (not her trash) this morning. May I provide you with too much information? Because she was too lazy/drunk/stupid to wrap said protection in, say, a tissue, the, er, "seed" of last night's guest had spilled onto the rest of MY trash. I didn't need the trash anymore, but still, gross.
--Went to a strip club last night. I am not joking.
--Major confrontation alert! When I asked that her, er, guest be gone by 11 last night so I could study/sleep before my midterm today, she informed said guest that "mom" said he had to be gone by 11. May I be rather frank? I would like to punch her in the ovaries.
--Called me a "goody two shoes" last night. Again, not even joking.
--Who even says goody two shoes anymore? Sluts, that's who.
--...Am I a goody two shoes?!
--Halloween costume: slutty mobster.
--Completely plastered and/or holding a drink in absolutely every photo I have ever seen of her.
--Slut. Big slutty slut slut.
I can't wait to get out of the dorms.
10/30/2008
