10 June 2009
♥ it feels like forever ago; and also just yesterday
It's been two years today since what I consider to be the most traumatizing trans-Atlantic flight in the history of the world--I would have preferred crashing into the ocean to what happened that day. In two years, I have:
- graduated high school,
- successfully completed a year of college,
- met the boy of my dreams,
- made amazing new friends,
- stayed in touch with amazing old friends,
- become closer to my family,
- and, with a few struggles along the way, realized what I want to do with my life.
It's been 730 days, and not one has gone by in which I didn't feel the sting of what happened, of the friendship lost, of that betrayal. But in the 17,520 hours that have passed since that horrible day, I have grown: I am stronger now than I ever thought I'd have to be. It's true what they say; time heals all wounds. I will never forget what happened, and a part of me will certainly always feel a little wary, because who knows when someone you love will turn your world upside down? But I've realized that true friends, though few and far between, are worth keeping for a lifetime.
Those "friends" that I couldn't trust have slowly been weeded out over the last two years as their true colors were revealed, some immediately after it happened, and some more recently. (You know who you are.) As cheesy as it may seem, I want my friends (who are practically family at this point) to know how grateful I am, because I doubt I would have survived the past two years without you.
The one thing I haven't been able to find, after all this time, is forgiveness. Perhaps in the days, weeks, years that are to come, I will be able to forgive him for what happened; but today is not that day. I feel certain that I will have to feel mercy and forgiveness in order to truly put the past behind me, but at nineteen years old, I hope I still have plenty of time to grow.
6/10/2009
