29 September 2009
♥ dear prince charming,
Ok, I'm ready! You can reveal yourself any day now. It will probably be a little hard to see you among all those jerks, but I'm confident you can win me over.... Ready, go!
Love,
Emma
9/29/2009
03 September 2009
♥ girls just wanna have fun
For once in my life, this really is true. Of course I plan to keep my grades up, study hard, and all that jazz... But whereas until now everything has been about working hard to keep up a relationship and doing my best to make sure people like me, I'm ready to just be me. (Whatever that is.) It feels good to not worry so much all the time: Do they think I'm weird? Does she like me? Who cares? It's refreshing to do everything I do just for myself: I'm not working out all the time to impress boys; I'm doing it because it feels so damn good to be in shape! I'm not trying new things and meeting new people with the hopes of "finding anyone special," I'm doing it because it's fun to make new friends.
I am Emma, and I am the master of my destiny!
Cheesy. I know. But it feels good.
9/03/2009
01 September 2009
♥ these are the best nights
Today after school and work I:
♥ had my tragus pierced. Not really sure why; I've been thinking about it for about two years and finally decided to take the plunge. It hurt like shit. It was totally worth it--I love it!
♥ had pizza for dinner. Don't judge me. It was delicious, and I swear I'll start eating healthy again tomorrow. Probably.
♥ painted my nails. Badly. Once I clean them up a little, I think they will be less embarrassing.
♥ was incredibly productive, academically speaking. I am now caught up on homework through Friday. It's ok; I'm kind of a big deal.
♥ watched several episodes of Sex and the City. I've never really managed to get into it before, but for the uncensored version - a la entire series on DVD rather than on TBS, where you don't get to hear any swearing or see any dirty sex - I'm giving it another shot. Bonus: no commercials. I love when my roommate's little sister's boyfriend gives her wonderful birthday gifts that we promptly steal.
♥ paid rent. This part sucked in a several-hundred-dollars-out-of-my-pocket kind of way, but I feel sort of (very) grown up and mature. Hmm!
Overall, it's been a good night. Now for the whole getting up and doing it all again thing tomorrow...
9/01/2009
29 August 2009
♥ overall, not a great first week of school.
Despite my high hopes for this semester, I'm feeling more discouraged than ever. My classes are mostly interesting, but hard. (I know, I know; I should expect that--they're all junior level college classes.) They all involve strict deadlines and lots of reading. I have felt like a socially awkward dork all week, be it at work or in class or at the cycling team barbeque where no one was friendly. And today, to top it all off, I was abandoned on Highway 36 by the cycling team in its entirety, leaving me with essentially no options but to ride the 30 miles by myself. (This is pathetic, but I stopped in Lyons for a good 20-minute "why do these people hate me and why do I always have to be such a loser" cry. Then I manned up and rode home.) I'm about ready to give up, move back in with my parents, and spend the rest of my life working at Sports Authority. I guess you win some and you lose some, right? In any case, I've learned my lesson: Don't ever say things can't possibly get worse, because if my experience this week has been any indication, they can. Things can always manage to get worse.
BUT at least I'm not starving to death in a third world country, armed terrorists from other tribes are not out to kill me or my family, I have a roof over my head, etc. etc. A little perspective.
8/29/2009
24 August 2009
♥ i wish i was twelve.
Things change so quickly. I can hardly keep track of my own life anymore. Here I am, in this beautiful apartment that I can't really afford, paying for rent and groceries and utilities and all those unpleasant grown-up things, and I have to remind myself constantly: You wanted this. It's true. I've waited for this experience, this essential adulthood, my whole life; I spent my high school years dreaming of the day I could leave the parental nest and fly on my own. It's a bad metaphor. I know. But here I am, and suddenly all I want is to drive home, run upstairs, and lay on my mom's bed for a good cry.
So far, I hate being a grownup.
So far, I hate being a grownup.
8/24/2009
05 August 2009
♥ and in an unsatisfying turn of events,
I am quite unhappy with my current roommate situation. Perhaps I am not meant to live happily ever after during my college years?
8/05/2009
17 July 2009
♥ on my radar right now:
♥ New blog layout. I love it! Always nice to freshen things up...
♥ Babysitting. I have probably spent more time in other people's houses lately (between housesitting and babysitting) than in my own. As much as I love little people, I have to say that--at least for the next several years--this is excellent birth control.
♥ Vintage everything. I think my bedroom next year is going to be absolutely Emma in every way. I love Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, and the beauty and class they represent. Along with having their lovely faces staring at me each morning when I wake up, I'm thrilled to say that I now have a healthy dose of (non-tacky, I promise) vintage and antique furniture!
♥ Mash-ups. I had no idea how entertaining it could be to listen to bands like Super Mash Bros.! Download their album free here and see what I mean.
♥ Volunteering. The only downside is that I can't take all the cute homeless dogs with me when I leave. Putting in hours at the animal shelter is rewarding to say the least, and it's nice to do something besides navel-gaze all the time. I like the idea that I'm part of something bigger than myself.
♥ Duathlon-ing. The big race is tomorrow. Wish me luck!
7/17/2009
♥ new apartment, here we come!
I'm so excited to move into my new apartment I can hardly stand it; in fact, it's pretty much all I talk/think about these days. We have pretty much all our communal furniture (though that's brought up some fairly concerning issues regarding a third roommate who has contributed very little--ok, absolutely nothing--so far): kitchen table with four chairs, courtesy of a garage sale; two barstools to be used at our kitchen nook (!!!); beautiful coffee table that I can't believe my mother is letting us have (it will definitely be our nicest piece of furniture); sofa from my uncle who recently moved into a teeny tiny loft in FoCo (it will most certainly need to be recovered; it's hideous)... I think that about covers it!
Not to mention my plans for my bedroom, which will be COMPLETE WITH A WALK-IN CLOSET AND PRIVATE BATHROOM. That's right, I'm yelling! Because I'm just that excited! The only thing I still feel I desperately need at this point is a cute little bench to go at the foot of my bed. I'm not sure why this seems so important, but I feel like it's going to tie everything together.
We move in on the 8th, and by move in I mean start painting. Everything should actually be moved in and ready to go by the 15th, which means my first night on my very own as a real live grown up will be August 16th. Pictures will obviously be up then! Gah, can't wait!
7/17/2009
02 July 2009
♥ forced family fun to the rescue!
I can't say I was too thrilled about the idea of being stuck in the kids' room for the week (I'm a legal adult, for god's sakes!), but it turns out a few days of familial bonding in gorgeous Keystone was just what I needed. Aside from the sleepless nights--certain family members, whom I will not name here, are extremely prolific snorers--I must say I quite enjoyed this little vacation! Between jogging on the beautiful trails, mountain biking, rafting (including my uncle Jack's insistence, throughout the trip, that "things are about to heat up right around this bend, I can feel it!"), swimming, shopping to my little heart's content (outlets in Silverthorne, anyone?) and, as is Walker/Stroh family tradition, consuming copious amounts of carb-filled food, I'm happy to say I'm feeling quite content at the moment. Of course, there's nothing like those heart attack-destined distant cousins, whom I will also refrain from naming, to put me into an absolute exercise frenzy, and for once I've returned from vacation and still manage to fit into the majority of my clothes. After all, I did ride a bike 150 miles last weekend, and I've basically done nothing but exercise (ok, and eat) all week...
Quick aside: as usual, this annual family extravaganzapalooza has reminded me that I do, in fact, come by my ghetto booty quite honestly. The legendary "Stroh Butt," as it is referred to in my family, runs deep in my veins, and I am reminded once again that I must embrace it rather than attempt to exercise it away. Plus, it does look pretty fine in my brand new Calvin Klein jeans!
7/02/2009
26 June 2009
♥ still, i'd rather hear about farrah.
This morning, when I opened my iTunes, I was met with an announcement from Genius--the creepy new feature that makes recommendations for new music based on what I already listen to--that although my current choice could not be matched to anything particularly relevant, I might enjoy today's top selling albums. Guess what was at the top of the list?
- Off the Wall / Michael Jackson
- Bad / Michael Jackson
- Dangerous / Michael Jackson
Now, I appreciate the Jam Genius of Michael Jackson as much as anybody else, but I have to take issue with this. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that the sudden spike in King of Pop sales is a direct result of his death yesterday, and call me a cynic, but I find this somewhat disturbing. Because four years ago, the same people who spent $9.99 to buy his hits this morning were ready to crucify him. I say this because anybody who came to his defense in 2005, when he was accused of sexual assault on a child, probably already owned all those albums.
He was acquitted, of course, but in the land of super-rich megastars, that doesn't mean much, because unless I'm mistaken, jumping on an SUV for an impromtu show outside the courthouse is not a traditional part of the American legal system. Tabloids, along with everybody else, threw him under the bus in 2005, but who's mentioning it now?
Don't get me wrong; who am I to say whether Michael Jackson molested anybody? But here's what I do know: it's impossible not to dance when "Thriller" comes on the radio, I can't help smiling when I hear anything by The Jackson 5, and today, the top 3 albums on iTunes are all his. I guess he left a hell of a legacy after all.
6/26/2009
♥ i love not working!
This week, I had three days off. Three! Here's what I did:
- saw The Proposal (cute if formulaic and predictable, plus Ryan Reynolds is hot) and Year One (not particularly original, but Michael Cera is always refreshingly funny);
- went to a hockey game, which was fun even if we lost miserably;
- baked some delicious cupcakes from scratch with the best boyfriend ever;
- got caught in the rain several times;
- sat on Miss Boyd's couch with three of my favorite people in the world;
- finished Julie & Julia, which I absolutely loved;
- and, last but not least, but some miles on my extremely beautiful new running shoes.
Have I ever mentioned that I would very much like to meet a rich benefactor so I never have to work again?
6/26/2009
25 June 2009
♥ the nice thing about living in the country
is that on a clear night, a night like tonight, you can see the stars. All of them. You can see the Big Dipper (or is it the Little Dipper? I can never get them straight), Orion's Belt, and probably lots of other constellations, if you've had any kind of astronomy-related education between sixth grade Outdoor Lab and the present. (I, obviously, have not.) Tonight, I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders as I drove home, and when I stepped out of the car, I was struck by the overwhelming bigness of the universe. I, Emma, almost twenty and with little sense of purpose or direction, am so tiny in comparison to those little pinpricks in the sky which are actually giant structures millions of miles away--can you even imagine; a million miles?--and it hit me, tonight, that in the end, when all is said and done and I've spent my last breaths, life will go on. A thousand years from now, people will still be doing what they can to get by, they will still be seeking justice in this mixed-up world of ours, they will still be searching for answers. And someone will step outside and see those beautiful stars twinkling in that perfect velvet sky, and they will think, Maybe there is something out there for me after all, waiting to be found. At least, that's how I feel.
6/25/2009
16 June 2009
♥ on my radar right now:
♥ John Travolta. He has played some of the sexiest, most desirable characters of all time: Danny Zucco (Grease), Chili Palmer (Get Shorty and Be Cool)... Enough said there, but there's more! See The Taking of Pelham 123; I promise you won't regret it.
♥ Decorating my new apartment. Okay, I haven't exactly moved in yet. But I never realized how much fun it could be to beautify a plain kitchen/bathroom/living room! Hint: Hobby Lobby always, always, always has some kind of fabulous sale going on (posters, frames, etc.).
♥ Training for a duathlon. I plan on being in amazing shape by July 28, when the Mile Hi Duathlon takes place at Cherry Creek Reservoir. Run 5K, bike 30K, run another 5K. Who wants to train with me?
♥ Scrapbooking. I'll admit it: I'm a big nerd. But there's something about all those cute little stickers, fun paper, and going through old photos that makes me weak in the knees. When we're all old and Alzheimer-y, everyone will thank me for documenting our adolescence.
♥ Housesitting. It's just a few days here and there, but you'd be surprised how quickly that $20/day adds up! It doesn't sound like much, but consider what I have to do for it: feed dogs, check; live at house that is bigger/nicer than my own, check; watch movies on gigantic TV, check. Not a bad deal.
♥ Gel nails. Somewhat obscure, but I'd be lying if I said they weren't on my radar. These aren't your average acrylics; they last nearly twice as long, are healthier for your nails, and look GORGEOUS. I am in love.
6/16/2009
10 June 2009
♥ it feels like forever ago; and also just yesterday
It's been two years today since what I consider to be the most traumatizing trans-Atlantic flight in the history of the world--I would have preferred crashing into the ocean to what happened that day. In two years, I have:
- graduated high school,
- successfully completed a year of college,
- met the boy of my dreams,
- made amazing new friends,
- stayed in touch with amazing old friends,
- become closer to my family,
- and, with a few struggles along the way, realized what I want to do with my life.
It's been 730 days, and not one has gone by in which I didn't feel the sting of what happened, of the friendship lost, of that betrayal. But in the 17,520 hours that have passed since that horrible day, I have grown: I am stronger now than I ever thought I'd have to be. It's true what they say; time heals all wounds. I will never forget what happened, and a part of me will certainly always feel a little wary, because who knows when someone you love will turn your world upside down? But I've realized that true friends, though few and far between, are worth keeping for a lifetime.
Those "friends" that I couldn't trust have slowly been weeded out over the last two years as their true colors were revealed, some immediately after it happened, and some more recently. (You know who you are.) As cheesy as it may seem, I want my friends (who are practically family at this point) to know how grateful I am, because I doubt I would have survived the past two years without you.
The one thing I haven't been able to find, after all this time, is forgiveness. Perhaps in the days, weeks, years that are to come, I will be able to forgive him for what happened; but today is not that day. I feel certain that I will have to feel mercy and forgiveness in order to truly put the past behind me, but at nineteen years old, I hope I still have plenty of time to grow.
6/10/2009
29 May 2009
♥ nothing like a little retail therapy!
Have I ever mentioned that I love 5 for $25 panties at Victoria's Secret? I also really enjoy that they have taken to classifying their undies as "cheeky," "cheekier," and "cheekiest." Guess which ones are my favorites?
5/29/2009
